A LETTER TO 2016

Dear 2016,

As I sit by your death bed writing your memoirs I ask you to reconsider the title of “Screw All Yall”. I am not going to lie….. you have been a bastard. Not too many fans out there for you even for a leap year. A lot of people are anxious to see you go and let your child 2017 take over. You really have been brutal on the celebrities this year and you have taken some icons away from us. You can quit smirking anytime you prick. You could have evened it out by at least taking a Kardashian with you. Hell I would have even settled for Rob at this point. But damn Alan Rickman right out of the gate David Bowie, Prince and taking a mother daughter combo at the end? What was your end game here besides being an end game? Still feeling all self important arent you? Your historical events have been incredible. Cubbies take World Series, Britain exits the EU, Spread of the Zika Virus and your biggest flop, the US Presidential elections. I mean you took some terrorists out but not before they killed a lot of people. Your Olympics sucked but I guess when you have an Olympics is a city just above the 3rd world you should expect it.. would have been better to have in Mogudishu. And don’t get me started on the police shootings and Hurricane Matthew. You didn’t have a lot of good things happen during your run. Taking pandas of the endangered species list just doesn’t count. You have to let 2017 know how to fix all the bullshit left in your wake. Or maybe you just don’t care to…. you asshole. Sleep tight 2016. After I finish writing this memoir I’m going to burn it. #happynewyear #NewYear2017#screwyou2016